


and I'd promise you anything for another shot at life

by FreddyHoneychurch



Category: X-Men (Alternate Timeline Movies), X-Men (Movieverse)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-18
Updated: 2018-08-30
Packaged: 2018-11-15 13:08:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11231646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FreddyHoneychurch/pseuds/FreddyHoneychurch
Summary: Charles Xavier had long prepared himself for the day that he would get the call, telepathically or on the phone, saying that Erik had died. He never would have expected the call would have come from a young girl, hardly coherent, begging him to go to Poland.





	1. Chapter 1

Charles Xavier had long prepared himself for the day that he would get the call, saying that Erik had died. Whether by the hand of another mutant or a human. He had thought that the call would have come from Raven, it would have softened the blow. Not by much but it would have been something. He never would have expected the call would have come from a young girl, hardly coherent, begging him to go to Poland of all places because _her Papa was dead and please, Mr. Xavier, won’t you come? He told me to call you, if anything happened to him and Mama_.  
It made his entire chest go numb, finding out the man he’d considered the love of his life once, was not only married with a child, but had been killed, trying to protect his daughter from suffering the same fate he’d endured as a child. 

Erik had mentioned wanting a family, just once. When he’d gotten drunker than Charles and admitted a small want, once Shaw was dealt with,to have a shot at a normal life, a happy one, one he’d been long denied. And yet, he had known even then that he wasn’t the sort to ever get that kind of life, to ever even deserve it, and he was long destined to live a life of constant fighting.  


Charles had simply brushed it off as drunken rambling then, smiling at Erik and pointing out that _Well, we sort of have that now,don’t we? The younger ones, teenangers perhaps but still children in a way. In a nice home, no fighting, just us and the gaggle of mutant children_.  


Erik had laughed after, a rare sight, one that always made Charles’s stomach flutter and fall in love just a little more. He’d replied, _Armando would have your head if he found out you were calling him a child. As would Raven and Alex_. 

Charles and Erik had both laughed together before moving onto more amorous activities, and the memory of long,passionate kisses on a cheap hotel bed, half emptied bottles of wine on the night stand and the feeling of Erik’s leather jacket under his fingers, had been shoved into the back of Charles’s memory, only coming to the forefront on rare occasions. As he wrote a note for the teachers, explaining his need to go to Poland for a few days, he thought of the one time he’d heard Erik say that he loved him. 

It’d been the night before Cuba, and he’d been lightly dozing, stirring only when he felt the bed dip, and soft lips brushing against his forehead. The words had been whispered quietly, with a touch of fear hidden in the tone, as if the words could bring physical pain. The next day, on the beach, when Erik had left, Charles was angry and hurt, not letting himself think about the underlying regret about not saying the words back, wondering if that would have prevented this whole mess. 

As he boarded the plane with Hank, he felt his stomach churning,feeling that regret come back, wondering just what would become of this little girl. And just how he was going to navigate mourning a man who he hadn’t spoken to in 10 years, and hadn’t even properly told him how he’d felt in the entire time that he’d known him.


	2. Chapter 2

By the time they had arrived in London, Charles had gone through a million scenarios in how Erik had not only managed to get married and have a child,but just how he had died. It likely wasn’t healthy, imagining how your former lover had died, and he could almost hear Erik chiding him for _getting caught up in that big head of yours, Charles_. 

Hank had been mostly silent from when Charles had initially told him what had happened, to when they landed in Poland. As they caught a cab to the address provided by the girl claiming to be Erik’s daughter, Hank finally spoke, voice hushed so the driver wouldn’t hear. “Charles, do you really think this is what you think it is? For all we know it’s a trap, he did nearly kill you last time we saw him. This could be some sort of plot to prove mutant superiority.” 

“I doubt even Erik would go as far as to use children against me. Besides, that’s why I have you. In case he does drop another stadium on me.” 

Hank’s response was cut off by their arrival, instead awkwardly thanking their driver in stilted Polish before they both exited, Charles instantly rolling himself towards the entrance, feeling his apprehension grow as he neared the door. A small part of him hoped Hank was right, and that it was some sort of cruel trap, though he knew deep down that while Erik could be cold, he would never stoop to such a level. 

As soon as Hank leaned forward to knock,the door was yanked open,revealing a small girl that looked so much like Erik that it nearly broke Charles’s heart all over again. 

“Are you Mr. Xavier?” 

“I am, can I ask what your name is? And how exactly you know who I am?” 

“Nina Gorzsky. My father gave me your card. He said to call if anything ever happened to him.” She bit her lip before continuing. “And my mother too. She went after him, and she hasn’t come back.” Her voice cracked and she promptly burst out crying, throwing herself at Charles. 

He guided her inside, with Hank following, giving him a look and signaling that he was going to look around. Charles glanced down, focusing on soothing Nina’s thoughts, becoming startled when her head shot up. “He said you could read minds. And that you helped him become a better person.” 

Before he could respond, he glanced up,seeing Hank hold up a picture. “Is that you with your parents?” He asked, crouching down to Nina’s level. She glanced between the two of them, before nodding, regarding Hank with some suspicion. He looked over at Charles, hesitating before handing him the frame. 

A beaming Erik looked up at him, with a brunette woman looking at him so very fondly and Nina perched on his shoulders. He had more facial hair than Charles had ever seen him with, and dressed far more relaxed as well, even when they had broken him out of the Pentagon. It was jarring, almost as if he was looking down at a different person. He wondered if he had gotten Erik to stay, to never even kill Shaw, would this have been their life. 

A small cough broke him out of his thoughts, and he glanced up, noticing both Nina and Hank looking at him. “Apologies, it was a long flight. Did you say something,dear?”  
Nina shook her head before speaking aloud. “He told me to give you a letter,if anything ever happened to him and Mama. It’s in their room, if you want me to get it?”

Charles nodded slowly, watching as she dashed off up the stairs, purposely avoiding Hank’s gaze. 

“At least it’s not a trap.” He remarked dryly, causing Charles to let out a bark of laughter before forcing himself to look at Hank.  
“We still don’t know exactly what happened here. And what we should do next. We can’t just leave her here Hank, we don’t know if Erik had anyone else here.”

He cut himself off as Nina came downstairs, holding out an envelope, taking it with a shaking hand. 

Sensing Charles’s need for privacy, Hank crouched down to her level, giving her a wide smile. “Hey, I bet you haven’t eaten a real big meal in ages, why don’t you and I go make us something to eat while Mr. Xavier reads?” 

She hesitated before nodding, clearly letting her want for food win out over her suspicion of Hank, though she glanced back at Charles as she went into the kitchen. Thankfully she went into the kitchen before Charles let his mask drop, allowing his emotions come to the surface. 

_Erik? Are you there? Please tell me I’ve just made a bloody fool of myself and this is some sort of plan to trap me and prove mutant superiority_. 

His mind desperately sought that of his former lover’s, desperate for even a small sign that he was alive. He couldn’t be that cruel could he?  
The silence stretched on and Charles could feel the pit in his stomach grow, knowing that it was without a doubt true that this was not a trap.


	3. Chapter 3

_My dearest Charles_  
_My old friend,_  


_If you are getting this letter, it is because I’ve either been captured or I’ve been killed. Should it be the former, do not come looking for me, as I will be as good as dead very soon after. And, should you be getting this letter in the case that something has happened to Magda as well, then you are the only one I trust to take care of Nina. I’m aware that I’ve done a lot of things in my life that cannot be forgiven, and that I could never even dare to ask for your forgiveness. I am aware that I’ve no right to ask anything of you, and that what we had between us is now long gone, and you’ve likely moved on. Yet, the differences between us do not extend to Nina. Know that despite my own marriage and love for Magda, the love I had for you never faded. I never said it to you enough, and it was one of my biggest regrets. Even when I was young, my mother would tell me that I was too serious, too concerned with keeping a stiff upper lip and I suppose I carried that over into my adult life._

_Nina has given me a will to strive towards a peaceful life, and I find that perhaps what mutants need in this world is someone like you for guidance. You were always the more patient one between the two of us. There is money set aside for Nina, and it’s under your name, for you to take and use for her care. She knows who you are, I’ve ensured that. I knew that I could not keep up the idyllic, domestic life and prepared for the worst as soon as I found out that I was to be a father._

_My dearest Charles. I am sorry for everything I’ve put you through. And for never allowing you to be enough to calm the rage and pain I felt. I hope this letter finds you well and I hope that you can find it within yourself to allow Nina to come back home with you._

I love you.

_Erik Lehnsherr._

Charles felt himself shudder with the raw emotion he felt from the words on the page in his hands. He found that he couldn’t stop himself from weeping, furiously rubbing the tears away and a sob escaped him. He’d known that Erik had loved him, even when he hadn’t said it. He never meant to read Erik’s mind without his permission, yet he found that sometimes, Erik’s thoughts were strong enough that he ended up reading them anyhow. At times Erik could tell, and he would frown at Charles, chiding him to _“get out of my mind, didn’t your mother ever tell you not to be nosy?”_

“Of course not, darling. She was much too busy attempting to act as if she were sober for her socialite friends. “ Charles would reply dryly, never failing to get a laugh out of Erik.

It was something that he never did enough, and Charles would relish any chance that he could to get him to do so.

He realized that he couldn’t stay out here much longer without making Hank worry, and he rolled himself into the nearby bathroom, rinsing away any hint of tears or redness on his face. He tucked the letter away in his pocket, moving to go join the other two in the kitchen, resolutely not looking at the pictures on the wall, a great many of them showing Erik’s beaming face. As he entered the kitchen, he forced a bright smile, clapping his hands together, “I’ve read the letter your father left me, Nina. Darling, how would you feel about coming back with us? Your father did request that we take you back but I wanted to know how you would feel. I know this has been your home for a long time and I would hate to only tear you away from something else you treasure.” He hesitated, noticing Hank watching him out of the corner of his eye, knowing he was worried about how the little girl may respond. 

Nina looked at him worriedly, wringing her hands together. “Promise you won’t leave me? If I go with you? Papa promised me but he-” She cut herself off, looking down at her feet. 

“My darling, I promise you. If you come with me, I ensure that you won’t be alone, I may have to leave your side from time to time but I promise that I will always come back. Your father and I were...we were very good friends I would hate to let him down.” Charles murmured, taking her hands and squeezing them gently. She finally looked up at him and smiled brightly, nodding then. “Okay. Then I will go back with you.” 

Charles felt his shoulders sag in relief and he looked over at Hank, who smiled back at him, bring over three plates of food. As they sat and ate, Charles felt himself remembering a time when they were both younger, sitting around with the rest of their recruits, after having trained together to harness all their powers, and felt a small pang in his chest. And by the look on Hank’s face, he was rather sure that he was remembering those same times as well. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long gap between updates. I ended up getting swamped with work, and with school and then by the time I had gotten free time again, I had lost my muse for this work. I'm really pleased to come back to it though as it always had a soft spot in my heart and hopefully I'll be able to update more frequently. Thanks to everyone that left Kudos and commented while I was gone. I loved every single one and helped me move a little closer to making this update.


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